"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
