so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
