I wannas sexs uuuuu
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
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