You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
