I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
