The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
