My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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