we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
ttyl tear gas
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
His nipple licking is glorious
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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