There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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