VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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