i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
