Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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