Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
