My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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