I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
ugly people sure do ruin things
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize