dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Is it penis luge time yet?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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