she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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