Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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