Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
