please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
