Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
