Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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