K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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