You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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