tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
