I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Randomize
