What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
false alarm, still single
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
