there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
My liver is preforming stress tests.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
