i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
