I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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