hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
