You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize
