She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
