I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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