I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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