just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
