nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
MIDGETS
????
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
