hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
