did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
