Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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