So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
