Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
