i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Every concussion has its silver lining
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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