There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
