Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Your dad touched me again.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Randomize
