I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
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