He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I intend to get homeless drunk
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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