So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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