I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
