omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
