Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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