I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
