Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
handjob tips. give me some.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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