You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
love makes seman taste better
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
