i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
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don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
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"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
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