Can Purell be used as lube?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
