butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
