I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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