just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
