booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
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