What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
