Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
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We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
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I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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