the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
